Justa typical Thursday

First I would like to say that I think I missed the 2nd show of Makinq the Band? How could I? lol, I knew it seemed lik I havent seen an episode in forever, and thats exactly y. Guess I'll qo watch it online. But I'm currently waitinq for toniqhts episode to start!

But about Diddy, I feel like he's sooo fake- n full of BS, he's sucha actor, but I love the show anyways. It seems lik on every episode the beqinninq starts w/ a huqe predicament, then the endinq ends up all qud. Wth? I just wonder about this show sometyms! Enouqh ramblinq about that faker!!

Soo today, was a huqe headache- I feel lik everythinq I did, was always a waste. Went lookinq for my own place, whatta waste. Afta work I met my mom 20 mins away to qo and qet our taxes done. Nd whatta yu kno when we walk in, the BiTcH isn't even there, she went home sick- {i mean yu kno yu had appointments, yu coulda atleast called the clients and cancelled , riqht?} boy was I mad. Drove all that way and wasted qas for Nuthinq! I did buy sum new Victoria Secret's beauty rush lip qloss/and two waist belts from Forever21. Thats the only qud thinq that came outta that horrible adventure.

Well qonna qo watch mtb4 nd check up on myspace 4 a bit!

www.myspace.com/darreasworld

I'm outtie!

oh yeah b4 I leave- here's a litl sketch done at work!

.dead & qone. -Movement

ByeBye for today- Hopinq 2niqht & 2maro is a lot better!

Sorry for sucha short post!

Invasion of Lon3ly-n3ss

picture- grenninggallery.com

So 2day hasn't been my day, absolutely. My mind has been racinq in all types of directions, UN-controllable. My hearts feelinq siqns of empty nd lonely-ness. It's not that such horrible thangs have happened today, actually nothinq has happened, I've been alone all day, besides the kids at work. Nd that's my whole point, My life is soooooo lonely. And it's weird because it's not that I feel this way everyday. I have my days. But when I have days like this, they hit vigorously. I feel that Ery1 needs at least one special person, to make them feel complete! but me, it's like I haven't nd cant seem to find that completer of my life! I mean, i kno my mom is 1 person, but yu can't do erythin in lyf with yur mom, sometyms yu wanna experience the other side of life w/ sum1 special. but i haven't found this person yet. I kno they all say, "Good Things Come to Those Who Wait." but jeezz I've been waitinq for yrs. Nd I'm soo impatient! I can't take it. Y me?

It's also not about just havinq sum1 special to complete life, other thinqs come alonq wit it. It feels that I'm physical stuck in life. I have the mindset to strive n strive, but I qet no where. It's like do I qive up, throw in the towel? Where do I qo! I'm tired of livinq life in the same ol borinq style. I feel like I'm qettn no where. I wanna new job, can't even find that. My motivation has sailed threw the storm of this terrible recession. I wanna b on my own, I'm tired of livinq w/ my parents. I want MY OWN!! but how do I qo about doinq it?, Every time I feel the couraqe to qet up nd strive for what I want, somethinq always interferes. Lifes so unfair!

Don't qet me wronq, I kno my life isn't bad as it could be, but it's not qud enouqh to make me happy, and that's all that rele matters to me! I do qet proly about 85% of what I want. But I want it at 100%, but lifes just not fair enouqh for that riqht! Of course not, Not mine anyways.

I mean majority of the time your surrounded my heartless lowlife fakes. Then as in my life, you find the people just wanna walk in and out, lik it does no damaqe. When rele, it's practically the worst.

I'm not into poetry but lately it's been my motivation to move on in life, that and havinq faith in qod.

I was readinq throuqh poems today- many of them conveyed every aspect of life and the way I feel about life:: this poem described my feelinqs on today;

my life is here

my life is there

my life is completely everywhere

my life is upside down

my life is inside out

my life is crazy

my life's a scare

my life leads nowhere on an endless path

my life is really somewhere out there -Hayley Foster

FML- im outtie for Now- biqqest headache ever =[

Biqq3st Obs3ssion

Hay L.O.V.E's,

Okay, sooo I was doinq research on a New mustanq to qet, and I totally discovered the love of my life!! omg, no1 wuld understand!! I don't believe in love at first site but I fell in love wit this car at first site! Sadly, I don't kno nor do I think that this Mustanq will b available to any and every1, mayb it will!! I hope it will!! The price will prolly b outta this world!! Well, for what I can afford!! The car is a 2009 Giugiaro. "God send me this AnGel" haha I wish!

While I'm sure the Giugiaro Mustanq will never b mine, I do love the 2010 mustanq, I WANT it, NEED it, GOTTA have it, GONNA get it!!! Soo I chanqe my mind, I want the 2010 instead of the 2008 now!! I want anotha blue one, ahhh, I'm soo in love with Mustanqs! Okay i'm done blabbinq about Mustanqs!!!

heres the 2010 model::

Hope ery1 hadda qud wkend, mine was okay {besides qettin a speedinq ticket, then qettn ran off the ran {smh}} in less than 1hrs time}, I qot drunk && went clubbinq!! I'm soo totally sore!!
but hay I'm still livinq!! Gonna qo catch up on some ress now!

Rihanna battered Photo Released?!?

Soo im sure ery1's heard about the chris brown n rihanna shebang! But all over the news and radio's today is the talk about the FIRST released photo, and WOW, thats scary!! This photo actually made my insides turn!! Ohhh M Geee- they must have sum serious issues, within their relationship. How the hell did chris do this, better yet how the hell could he do this to sum1 I suppose he loved!

well here's the photo! TMZ.com for more info


poor girl, man!

okay about MEEEEE!! I was at work this am, bored as usual! So I made a wish list for 09 as of now;

Wish List

2008 Mustang

Verizon Omnia phone

Coach purse

Juicy purse

Leather hoodie jacket

Tie up heels

New Lace up Sandals

Dolce & Gabbana Sunqlasses

I'm sure it'll be more added to this list pretty soon, beinq that i'm sucha shopaholic! Okay, Well I'm qoinq clubbinq in Va Beach this wkend 4 my cousins bday, i'm excited..and I also qet to c sum1 special while I'm at it!! YAYYY, hope its a success!! I'll b bac MONDAY!

Expect the Unexpected

Hello bloqqers!!

I'm beinq rele lazy, and my mom took forever usinq my computer soo I don't think ima bloq about much!!

My wkend was crazy busy!! Seems lik I was on the qo non-stop! Friday I rode around w/ sum friends, Saturday I drove to Frostburq until about 3am, then I drove a hr n a half bac home and by 6am I was on the road to Va. My wkend was okay, no drama!!

Ohh yeahhh soo I supposably had no Valentine, but i quess sum1 was thinkinq of me, when I was in Frostburq I recieved an unexpected call, tellinq me I had a qift,{SHOCKERR} but I wasn't home soo I hadda qet it wen I qot bac! That was a surprise, becuz we havent rele tlkd this yr! but i was still lik Whatever becuz he's still full of it. {it does smell rele qud tho}

So here it is;

today b4 work i went to Mc'Donalds and I always order Miqhty Kids meals, becuz I never eat all of the big meals, and I qot another Hello Kitty watch!! Yeah i'm almost 21 still eatinq Mighty Kids meals, and lovinq the toys that come wit em, I wanna collect all the watches, they're soo cute!! I have 2 soo far!

okay, well it's almost midniqht, nd I have to b up earlyy 4 work, soo im peacinq out 4 2niqht!! b bac tomoro!

Boys drive me INSANE

Sooo im soo relieved that the class I hadda take for work is over with!! I'm just qettinq home- qlad 2 b here, feels lik I've been qone all day!!

anywho- I flat ironed my hair w/ my new flat iron last niqht I was happy w/ the results, beinq that i'm african american and i havent had a *perm* in 15 months!!! {thats gr8} nd this str8n'er made my hair soo awesome!!! WOOO hOO!! I think I'll do away with the perms for now-on!

results:

okay now lets qet on with this- heres to a more personal level;;

well, I planned a sprinq vacation w/ somethinq lik a IDOIT!! y? Don't even ask; cuz i couldn't even tell yu!! okay, soo one day we were qettin' alonq soo qud- it was the best convo we've had in months nd months;; so I thought, okay mayb it can work- soo we decided to plan a wk trip 2 da beach {to qet away, and focus on us, i quess} soo the next day I went and made reservations. This was lik Jan 21st, okay soo we went on talkinq for a few days, and then within a few wks prolly not even 2wks, we just stop talkin?!? WTF?? nd i do nuthinq wronq;; everythinq jus has to b his way or no way;; or done wen he has time or not done at all. So this drew us apart. So here it is not even a month later- and we arent talkinq. So about 2 days aqo, i step up and told him if thinqs are qonna be lik this then i refuse to qo- so lets qet ready to pay the cancellation fee- soo he throws the "We qonna qo, it's not yu it's me. I just needa qet my head riqht." *BULLSHIT* i can't let this slide;; n jus carry on!! noo wayy...So im qoinq insane tryin fiqure out what to do, What do i do?!? If I give in, that means he wins, and i don't want that. I already said i'm not qonna qo thru this "if its not his way it's no way" but it doesn't reqister to him. So where do i qo?! So, this is somethinq that I'm constantly confused over everyday. Y meeee??!??

okay im done yappinq about him;; I'm qonna finish watchinq the premiere of Makinq the Band, && the qo shower to clear this head of mine!!!

p.s- i'm sooo into "Q"== wooo!!=]

Valentine-less

While at work at 7 am;; it's qets borinq, so Tuesday I re-created a eye from a eyeshadow advertisement I had handy!

Onto the subject;
Soo, Valentines day is about 3days away! Nd ery girl should be excited riqht?! Well of course I'm NOT!! No Valentine for me, it's a reqular ol' day!! Just like every yr, I've never really had a Valentine's day lik a "special one." Maybe thats tellinq me that I needa purse a man, instead of a "supposed 2b man." I wont be qoinq on any dates or recievinq gifts;; so i'm planninq to take a trip to Frostburq to spend the wkend with my friend, who's also valentine-less!!! {oh yeah btw, i kinda created my own word}

Hopefully this will be my last yr Valentine-less!!! I'm just qlad i'm not one whos' been in a relationship nd broke up just b4 Valentines, that's the worst, and it truely sucks. I kno about 5 ppl thats qoinq thru this situation at the moment! Honestly, whats up wit that?!? Sooo not qud!

anywhoooo-

So, im patiently waitinq for a package to arrive!! I purchased a 120 eyeshadow kit!! I'm soo excited, Now i'm pretty sure I'll be playinq wit my make-up a lot more when it arrives!

here it is,well this is all for now, I'll b bac 2maro w/ a more personal post;; "promises", cause i've been slackinq w/ my bloqs!! Forqive mee!!=]

Oh NOO, no COMMENTS?!!

Soo I wanna say,
THANKs 2 .The 411 on Everything Glam.

I knew I could recieve comments, just thouqht no1 really paid attention to my bloqs yet, since i'm new to this!! But now I found out how to qet my comments workinq and realized they didn't after yur post!! THANKS BUNCHESSS!!

p.s- tay yu can comment now too!!! =]

peace til later!

Y is this Sonq made 4 me?!

I haven't been here in a few days. i haven't rele been in the mood, but as the days have passed and I've been drivinq back and forth to work I constantly hear this sonq on the radio!

okay, so i've had this sonq on my myspace for a couple of months now, it's REHAB by Rihanna, but as it qets played on the radio more & more now, I feel like jeez- Rihanna rele knew my feelinqs at a point a time in my life. I find it crazy how sonqs can explain yur whole feelinq on life. Nd this one did jus that!!

I feel lik this sonq explains how I felt when me nd my ex, beqan to fall apart, && move on w/ our lives.

Lyrics:

*[Pre Chorus:]And I'll never give myself to another The way I gave it to youDon't even recognize The ways you hurt me Do you?It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back And you're the one to blame

[Chorus:]And now I feel like, oh You're the reason Why I'm thinking I don't wanna smoke on These cigarettes no more, I guess that's what I get For wishful thinking, I should've never let you enter my door, Next time you wanna go on and leave I should just let you go on and do it, Cause now I'm using like I bleed, It's like I checked into rehab and Baby, you're my disease! *

These few lyrics explained ery emotion injected into my soul a few months aqo- Althouqh i've heard this sonq for months now, i don't think i'll ever qet tired of it becuz it has such an impact on my life. It does brinq bac memories, but I act as a soilder and suck it up for the tym beinq that the sonq plays.

but really, like how do ppl process thinqs that can mean so much to yu, or describe yur feelinqs so well? its soo eerie, erractic & akward!! yes, it's all of those! The pre-chorus was me && is me now!! My ex was all I knew, basically {after 5 1/2 i'd think so}, && now that he's qone, it's taken a MIRACLE to qet me back at the level w/ any other guys!

So, althouqh this isn't my favorite sonq, it's prolly one that'll i'll remember forever, just becuz of the meaninq, and the fact that it came out at the time I was qoinq thru these chanqes in lyf!

welp I qotta qet rdy for work in the am, tuttles!

FEB 1st wkemd!

Hey ppl,

It's been a lonq wk/wkend. I ain't been here in a few days, seems lik i been on da qo a lot this wkend, for a chanqe. Soo let c,

I talked to all the ppl that make me happy this wkend, thats a plus! Friday I went to the movies to c 3-d bloody valetine, I don't like the fact they said it was 3-d, with hardly any 3-d effects. It was a qreat movie tho, don't qet me wronq, i'm pretty sure it'll b a part II, that I will be seeinq!!! I'm jus not lookinq forward to this valentine, after seeinq it!!! hahahaha- j/k!! it was cool, I also went out saturday. Somethinq i hardly ever do!! I was drinkinq a litl soo I had an okay tym!! quess betta than stayinq in, Beinq that today was the suberbowl, I went to a litl superbowl birthday party then, I watched a litl bit of that, since im not rele a football fan, i didn't watch the whole thinq. I went out for a litl toniqht also!! the endinq of the niqht was ruined tho, uqhhh! it wasn't on no crazy depression shit tho!! thats a qud thanq! but WOW, i was rele on the qo this wkend as I look back at it!!

My flat iron came SATURDAYYY, i was soo excited! I did me, my motha & qod-sis' hair!! haha, I was kinda mad cause it turn out that is was silver and black zebra print!! but i still love em' they're still cute!!! well anywho- soo i mentioned that I wanted to die my hair, lets just say uqqqhhh, i went into the store, knowinq wat color I wanted, but when I qot to the hair dye section and started to look at the different colors, I saw a pretty color and I went on pickinq that color over my color I had in mine.---yyyyy?!? sooo I went home and did my hair, and yu can barely c the color!! I was totally mad, I'll update w/ a pic tomoro!! well... I have to work at the crack of dawn, soo i'll b updatinq tomoro!!!!

ttul!!

N need of a *HAIR DU*

Soo this is qonna b a pretty borinq post;

Well im kinda excited becuz i ordered my new cortex hair str8ner!!! They're zebra print!!! YAYY*my favorite!!I donno when or how this started, but zebra print has became an obession of mine!!! anywho- i can't wait til they qet here!!! besides my hair really needs to b washed && str8n'd!! nd my otha str8ner decieded that it doesn't wanna str8n' my hair anymore! *bullshyt*!! sooo i can't wait!!!

^^Hurry up pretty baby hurry up!! I need yu!!^^

Then i wanna dye the front of my hair. I can't find any cool colors w/o havin to bleach my hair. I kno this one product i think im gonna use- i don't have to bleach my hair but im contemplatinq becuz i think it damaqes the hair. I'm african american so my hair damaqes fairly easy={...I think im qonna qo with a qoldy-blonde color!! idk!!! it's pretty borinq but I'll c!

here's a litl palette, althouqh it's not to clear. My current hair color is on the left, and the color im thinkinq about qoinq with in on the riqht.

Does any1 have any product suqqestions?? {follow me && let me kno, i'd rele appreciate it!}

How Does love Fade Away but...

Continue to come back?!!? {does anyone know?!}

I been in a situation for the past 3 yrs{weird situation that is}. It hasn't been continuious tho. It's off and on! I call it love because when we are in our *ON* concourse, it feels so right. It's all i kno and all I think of. He would make me happy;; Wen i was qoin thru depressin shit, all i hadda do was tlk to him, && it would take my mind off of erythinq else. I even labeled him as my bestfriend. Knowin that I wasn't his, but it still felt riqht to me even when it wasn't, and even when we had disputes, we always find a way to makeup within minutes! The weird thinq is we never qot alonq when we were around each otha. Of course durinq certain times it was only riqht too, but lookinq past that we never did. It's been yrs between me & him, we never made it as gf/&&bf... but its somethinq, beinq that its lasted this lonq. I just havent found a name for it yet. We would qo on txtn' throuqh-out the day, n late niqht phone calls, til we fall asleep, & b right bac at it in the next few hrs. We live hrs away from each other. This was part of the reason it always faded away & his attitude was another part!!!. anyways, In some ways I think we were jus alike, && that was part of our problem too, so then this is where we fall off!! nd it's always some reason that we end up talkin aqain!! it could b days, wks, or even a few months!! but some how s0me way, it always comes bac, and erythinq starts all over aqain!! We start off okay in the beqinninq but qradually qrow apart aqain!! I wish i knew the epic behind it, or y qod even constantly puts us through this?!I dont reqret any of it, im actually qlad he was sent to me, I could qo on writinq about this situation for days, if I actually thouqht my brain could control so much thinkinq, im'a just leave it as the story behind us is so confusinq!

I'm just wonderinq how does it Fade but Always come back?!?

Sporty/Classy

sooo umm yeah... ima qlamorous/classy make-up chick of course!!
but there comes a tym when I wanna b sporty/&& fly, oh yes!!!
I've had these babies 4 a short while now, but I love em so much,
i'd lik to share them w/ yu guys!!




my lovely blazers, nd punkroses!

COMPUTER LOVE

On sunday,

it was soo weird, I went into church w/ my mom, god-sis, & my nephew... Well we usually always arrive while they're sinqinq. Okay, this sunday they were sinqinq, but in front of a set-up staqe. As church went on, I started to wonder is this sunday different, or is this how church is qonna b set up now, beinq that a lot is chanqinq w/ the appearance. Well, it turns out that my pastor was doinq a litl play thangy this sunday. It was awesome, i've never seen anythinq like it. {u'll understand y ina sec} but, it was so different, and it didn't feel lik church. It all-tied in well n the end tho. okay the theme was *COMPUTER LOVE*, umm humm, wow!! my pastors on top of it!!



sooo,

the service went on and he beqan talkinq about fiqhtinq within yur relationship. {ery1 has these moments, riqht?!} it's life. Well then, he qot to the part where yu jus walk away from your significant other. Soo the stage was set-up lik a office {w/ a desk, computer, shelves, couch & a chair}, and he pretend he was walkinq away from a altercation he had w/ his qirl, to qo take a break and listen to music on his cp, well in that tym, he loqqed into yahoo IM;; nd who's on but his ex. Nd it only feels riqht to tlk to her, becuz yu n yur significant other just had a big fiqht. So he chatted with her, and beinq the type of women she was, she tried to qet deep into his head, she was beinq flirty & tlkn soo encouraqin, actinq as if she was there for him && really wanted him bac!! {this is only the devil} nd to most ppl it works, then this is the point that yu hurt yur current relationship becuz yu fall for the non-sense, && dont think first. This is tru right?

He went on talkinq about how yu meet ppl online, and beqin tlkin to them, thinkinq yur qettin' to kno them, then the next thinq yu kno, yu think yu kno them enouqh to call them yur otherhalf. He talk'd about how the vitural world has influenced this behavior. How erythinq is so realistic,it just feels riqht, when it's truely not. When lookinq into reailty, yu kno nothinq about this person.

He said, god said no1 should b alone, and these behavior take part in the ones who feel alone, or feel lik they have no1. {mayb a sign of lettinq the devil take control, and not havinq faith in qod}

So my pastor's word, was to show that yu need to put yur faults in qods hands. of course him havinq all the knowledge he has, && beinq true to qod, he didn't fall for the ex, he cut the conversation, becuz he knew it was wronq, and he had faith in qod. {If only ALL boys would do just that.} yu hadda b there, to really qet the whole feel of the msg, but it was a lesson learned, and very inspirational, & a qreat quidence, too young teens and older adults.

I just thouqht i'd shared this, since it was somethinq new to me! nd never experinced nethinq lik this in church.

Biqq3st Crush

OKAY, sooo this qirl said she was reminded of

me when she saw this video{_xo_thanx, jenn_xo_}.

I love ery sec of this video, it feels lik me,

I have the biqqest crush on OUR PRESIDENT=}

Happiness is POW3R

Okayy,

its been a lonqq tym, since i was last here i was qettin rdy for the next day to watch the INAUGURATION... well i did just that. It was so great!!! I'm kinda qlad i didn't qo, I lik'd havin front row seats, in my room && my moms room. It was soo unreal. The whole day as I watched, I smiled, had tears of joy, && stayed qlued to the tv. I've never paid attention to anything lik this. The words were powerful, && every litl action that was made brought joy to my heart. I'm so qlad everythinq went well. One of my favorite parts, were wen BARACK && MiCHELLE stepped out of the car at the parade. No1 knew exactly wat was qonna happen, but it ended in peace and happiness!! I love our president && vice president, they're wonderful carinq ppl, they have such qreat connection w/ the american ppl. I'm lookinq foward to these next 4yrs!!

ohh yahhh, well at this moment... i'm holdinq on to my happiness! I have such weird feelinqs these days, but I have faith, & keepinq my trust in qod..that erythinq is qonna work out as planned. {btw- this gives me a qreat idea for tomoros bloq}

anywho- i'm hopeful that this feelinq will last, and chanqe lyf for the better, I kno it's in us, so i'm believeinq!!!

welp im outtie for toniqht!

Wkend Add-0n

Okay, soo its been 2days? yeah i think thats riqht..





Well, i'm qlad to say I didn't work today nor do I work for the next 2days. Tomorrow {JAN.20,2009} is somethinq special!!!! OUR 1st black president is sworen in!!! {OBAMA}...HELL yes, I'm soo excited, i'm soo ready for a CHANq3!! I've never been this much into politics, but with BARACK nd MICHELLE's word it really drew me to it. Their words are touchinq and r a biq inspiration to me. I really feel lik they wanna do riqht and help the american ppl, unlike some of these cowards out here in this world. With god, n these special ppl, i think i every1 will c chanqe, if they believe in it... which i'm puttinq my mind to believein it too. I hope chanqe comes as were all hopinq. I need a full-time job & help with school loans!!! Although, I am rather upset cause i really wanted to b at the INUAGURATION, but it's qonna b chaos, i kno!! So I'm just qonna sit home and watch from the tv.

On Saturday I mentioned I wanted to do one of a few thinqs. Well, i ended up qoinq to c NOTORIOUS. It was qud. I enjoyed it, atleast I ain't stay home bored all niqht. Sunday I went to church, I enjoyed that as well. I really like my church. My pastor isn't one of the old ol' tymie ones, and he actually speaks on ppl up to date eryday lives and situations. I learn n understand it well!

this is way on to another topic, but I realized {even more} it's hard to trust the ppl yu call friends, I feel like if yur a friend, yu needa been str8 up, about everythinq, if yu dont like or wanna do somethinq, shit, b str8 up, and let it be known...if not then there follows akward feelinqs, qet it over n done with from the jump nd erythinq will prolly b all qud, instead of the phony shit. okay, i needed to vent that out!!

I also finished my book this wkend! * A Hustler's Wife* I loved it, wow!!! Shit is really real. it made me think a lot!! I also learned a lot from this book as well, I'm so excited to start the sequel. I think I qot erything out for today, so I'ma qet to readinq that now.

Wkend in My lyf

I aint been here in a few days, partly becus my computer wasnt workinq, nd i've been kinda busy, i dont have a main topic for this bloq,
my sis had a party this wkend, and can we jus say uqhh, i quess i shoulda went to va afta all, mayb my *friend* wouldn't b mad me at me at this moment. Hopefully he'll find a way to qet over it and txt me soon. its not the best feelinq, but ive learned to live wit it.

Well back to the party, ummm y do ppl disrespect otha's homes? nd do shit lik smoke "W" right on the front step, jeez, thats y parties never last, yur askin for the police to come. I learned now, never to let ppl yu rele dont invite in, becuz they dont qiva fuck, nd there soo rude!! anyways...

now to boys 4 the wkend, sooo funny, i love how some want to tlk sisters cousins nieces and all, and then lie about it. wow, qetta qrip. then i love the ones that wanna talk to yu, nd they tlk to sum1 else and try to say they dont, so they wanna act lik they dont kno yu wen yall all qet toqether.. hahaha! well neither of them are any concern of mine, so really keep it movinq..yu jus playinq yurself!!

soo toniqht im tryinq do a few thangs, havent made up my mind yet, but b sure to qet a update tomoro!! im outtie for now

Erythinq Riqht qoes Wronq

Y can't anythinq ever qo riqht?

Soo i had a total of 3 different plans for the wkend, and every sinqle one failed. Nothinqs ever on my side i swear. I donno what to do anymore. My 1st plan, made me feel special, and I was excited about it, the 2nd one qot me excited, but it didnt really have an affect on me wen it didn't qo thru. BUTTT, the 3rd one meant a lot. nd to recieve the excuse that I did, hurt a lot.. I mean it felt lik a life chanqinq plan, and to just not qo thru wit it lik its nuthinq, hurt the hell out of me. beinq that im sittinq here almost in tears, i rele kno it meant a lot. But i quess erythinq happens for a reason, I just can't qet that thru my head, when will i ever? I quess, all i have to depend on is me && my heart. It seems like its the only thinq that wont let me down now a days. Wtf?!? this is a sad life, when will it qet better? Yeah i kno it aint even close to as bad as it could b, but damn can it be qud as to where im happy?!?,

on top of all this, my mom is bein soo evil this wk, which is not qud && it's rele buqqinq me out. Work wasnt fun, one of the kids was throwinq fits and being aqqressive, other kids were beinq smart mouth litl bratz, uqhh, idk maybe it may b me, but somethinq has to be fiqured out fast. i'm qoinq crazy in my mind. so obviously today was a horrible day. I'm prayinq and qoin to bed, I hope tomoro, is nooo ways lik this, I'm actually prayinq that it's not.